sandy can't you see, I'm in misery

[longbowhunter]

❝the Morning After meme❞
	•Start a thread for each of your characters. It works better if you avoid a catch-all. •Other people comment as though their characters have suddenly woken up next to yours. Anons can comment suggesting who should wake up together. •If it's too creepy or cracked out, you obviously don't have to do it. •Spam accounts are totally welcome as well! •The first person who says they're late has to wakeup with Zoidberg.

Comments

[aggressiveapathy]

[Ah. There's a face. Okay. That mystery solved. She just looks at him for a long moment- then gives a sudden, loud groan of eternal pain and agony and buries her face back into his chest, arm tightening around his side.]

Oh my god. I can't believe I cost myself the stupid pool. I'm my own stupid archenemy.

[waiting]

[ Wait, what? ]

What do you mean "the pool"? [ He can guess what she means, but she's probably kidding, right? Right? He's still a little too shell-shocked by everything that's happening to do much more than let her do what she wants. It's all a little surreal. ]

[aggressiveapathy]

On who you'd hook up with first. I had it called and- god. Just. Wow.

[Obviously not even ashamed here. She's under the impression City Hall is run on betting pools. Most of which she's in on.

Sigh. She just lays there limply for a moment, apparently not too bothered with the current state of things, despite the bitching.]

It's not even the money, you know. It's just the high of being right. And rubbing it in their wrong little faces.

[waiting]

If we actually hooked up, shouldn't we both be wearing a little less? [ Yup, ever one for focusing on the practical instead of the disturbing implications of a betting pool on his sex life. Mitch was fair game, he was the boss, but who'd put money down on Bradbury? He also clearly isn't sharing her sense of complacency about the whole thing, though his freakout is quiet and internal and only really visible in how wide his eyes are.

Also, he might be trying to pull away. ]

[aggressiveapathy]

I don't know. Maybe it got cold. Or you are a secret clothing fetish or it's in the kama sutra or something.

[Said with the tone of someone who wants to believe that they didn't hook up (thus preserving the pool), but can't (come on. look at them. they're attractive people). But-

Wait. Where is bed going.]

Hey. I still have, like, twenty minutes.

[waiting]

[ He stops long enough to squint at her suspiciously. She's really taking this way too well for him to think she wasn't involved in how this happened somehow (except for the obvious). ]

You know that making me feel like some kinda cheap hooker is just gonna make me wanna get out of here faster, right?

[aggressiveapathy]

Hn. He's right. It always comes back to hookers somehow.

[It's half muttered, but he gets his way as a (not) apology. April slowly sits up next to him, still looking down over at him.]

But, god. I didn't mean- Look.

[huff]

I'm sure you'd be a very expensive hooker or something, okay. I just don't get freak out now when we've got twenty whole minutes more of sleep to have before we have to get up and start.

[waiting]

[ In response to no longer being draped on, he rolls over onto his back, not even asking what April meant about the hookers - he doesn't want to know. One arm gets draped over his head, muffling his voice when he responds. ]

Sounds like a plan.

[ Meaning, grudgingly, he's going to shelve freaking out temporarily in favor of slipping back into semi-consciousness. He doesn't feel nearly awake enough to deal with this, or with trying to remember how any of this happened. Whose bed are they even in? ]

I just hope this isn't getting filmed and put on the internet or something.

[aggressiveapathy]

Why not. We're good enough looking for it.

[apparently a key for working for Eddie was to have an ego almost as large as his. Regardless, april takes his rolling as a sign for her to resume urn to using him as a human pillow.]

But, mm. Sounds above my effort level just now. So you might be safe. For twenty minutes.

[waiting]

Because I'm not really an exhibitionist?

[ He doesn't even offer token protest as she snuggles back in, apparently having given it up as a lost cause. This is what his life has become. ]

[aggressiveapathy]

[Just going limp and accepting is a key survival strategy.]

Or have a sense of humor about the stroke it'd totally give the bosses.

[Yup. So grinning against his back. She hopes he can feel that.]

[waiting]

[ He can feel that, and he groans. Why did you have to remind about Mitch and Eddie, April. Why. ]

Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to think about now. Right at this moment. That's exactly what I wanted.

[aggressiveapathy]

You're welcome. I guess we could make out some more or something if that'll make it even better.

[You're the one who woke her, champ. Now you get to deal with it.]

[waiting]

[ Such a look he's giving you right now, April. ]

Some of us like being able to remember the first time around before we go for a second round.

[aggressiveapathy]

[She's quiet for a long moment at that comment, thinking back...]

I don't think that's gonna happen. So I guess there can never, ever be a sequel if that's the rule. For some people.

[waiting]

[ Long silences are rarely a good thing. He might be looking a little uncomfortable with the direction the conversation's taken, though, mainly because he's not sure where it is going. ]

Yeah, well, I guess that depends on whether you count not being able to remember as being like it never happened.

[aggressiveapathy]

[He is granting her way too much early morning planning ability if he thinks she has any idea about that. Right now is strictly brain to mouth observation time.]

I don't know. You're the one with the weird rules, here. Except for losing, like, whole tens of dollars, it's not a bad morning for some other people.

[Enjoy that feeling of air quotes happening against your ribs, bro]

[waiting]

[ Oh hey, convenient subject change time, though he grunts at the dig of fingers into his ribs. ]

Who'd you bet on, anyway?

[ Though he'll probably be happier not knowing. Honestly. ]

[aggressiveapathy]

Zee. Mm, well. Abby for the long game. But she's got issues or something, I don't know. I think she and Terry are the leaders of team virgin. So not the first.

[She gives a quiet hum, that last bit apparently a bit of a condolence.]

So I might still win that way. Since this kinda doesn't feel like it'll be evolving into a romantic gesture...No telling I told you. It's cheating.

[waiting]

[ As she keeps talking, his brows just keep climbing higher, and when she's done, he shakes his head, almost violently enough to dislodge her. ]

Hate to break it to you I don't think I'll be hooking up with Zee or Abby anytime soon, so you're still shit outta luck as far as the odds go.

[aggressiveapathy]

[Shrug. Right against his spine. Yup.]

I've got time. Way better than the other bets-

Except me, I guess.

[waiting]

[ He snorts. ]

Guess that makes you the dark horse, or something.

[aggressiveapathy]

Racist.

[But it comes with the return of the smile pressed against his back.]

I think we should call in. Emotional trauma or something. Let me keep my money one more day.

[waiting]

Like that's not gonna be suspicious.

[ He doesn't seem to be keen on moving either, though, and finally: ]

Fine. But you're getting your own breakfast.

[ Meaning, most likely, that he's going to end up making some for himself and she's going to end up boosting most of it. ]

[aggressiveapathy]

Okay. I want to make myself bacon and waffles. And coffee. I hope myself has the stuff for that. With looots of sugar.

[And just curling fully back up around him happily. Kind of like exactly how they were before this whole 'waking up' nightmare began.]