goshdarnspam | (no subject)

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IT'S FACE-SUCKING SATURDAY

post as your characters.
anons reply with character names.
ur character + that character = facesucking.
underagedchans can hug or hold hands etc.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He'd asked. When they ask, Sherlock releases all responsibility for their reactions to his deductions, no matter what protests John might make. The smirks dies off as Sherlock launches into a rather detailed analysis.]

You're a very private man, obviously, which is wise of a political figure. Little socializing outside of fundraisers or charity balls, or else you'd certainly have more friends outside the office, which you don't. Even the most cleverly constructed public persona needs a lick of truth to it to be convincing, of course. Patriotic, evidenced by the typical American flag pin on your lapel, rarely absent on any politician since the 2001 terrorist attacks, especially not in this City. You appeal to the lower denominator of your constituents with your obsessively coarse language and personal approach.

Of course, you don't really relate to any of them at all. How can an engineering master relate to someone who never made it through the twelfth grade? That's where we start crossing from truth to the mask. You're a member of America's conservative party but you don't exactly believe in all of their policies, do you? You put aside pleasure in the stead of ambition. Not always though. There's nothing wrong with having a liquor cabinet in your office, but you'd be surprised just how hard it is to wash out the smell of marijuana from a cotton suit.

[Sherlock takes another whiff of the air, almost to make sure.]

A few trips to the drycleaner's can fool most people, but anyone with prolonged exposure can pick up such a high grade scent. Of course, I'm sure the party could excuse a few tokes, but there's a reason you don't make connections outside of your work. Gay Republicans never get far, do they?

First off, you're making a lot of assumptions there, Sherlock. First off, whatever I may have done in college, it was college, and it's not a habit I continue to day. Second, I'm not an engineering master, I used to build low-income housing for a living, not fucking skyscrapers. [ He did re-design the second tower, though... ]

Third, and this is the hilarious one, you seem to make a lot of assumptions about my sexuality. Now, I know it's a fucking popular topic, but just because a guy who doesn't have time for relationships doesn't mean that he's gay. I have no problems with my friends on the other side of the fence, shit, I legalized gay marriage, but it's a pretty big stretch to say that it means I'm gay.

[ He lifts a shoulder. ]

If you want proof, I'm sure a kiss would do.

I never assume. I observe.

[Sherlock rolls his eyes at Mitch's other defenses. As if he doesn't get the gay assumption all the time. He only pauses in further analysis of this well practiced dialogue he's hearing when Mitch makes his suggestion.]

--Sorry?

[...Mitch pls that's the opposite of proving you aren't gay wat]

[ He's so bad at these makeout threads. How does kissing even work... ]

You heard me. Can't people, I don't know, tell if someone's interested if they kiss them? I mean, it's not like it's going to kill you, right? If we're both straight guys, this'll be a painful, but quick process.

[Mitch is talking to a man with no admitted experience. If there is any, it probably isn't recent, and if anyone kissed Sherlock Holmes, they must have really meant it, or were out of their minds. So he just gives Mitch a look.]

Not being attracted to me is hardly evidence of heterosexuality.

[ Hey his only kiss was because a girl was going to kill herself if he didn't. It's like the ineptalympics! ]

Maybe not, but for a guy who's proclaimed to have been too busy with work, I'd say that could be an oasis scenario. Anything looks good if you've abstained for long enough, right?