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LMFAO GOD WHERE'S MY FUCKING LIL EMOTE

[ he should have just left well enough alone but... here he was instead.

She'd probably bash his head in for just showing up like this after cutting it off -- which is why he sneaked in instead of using the front door, but she wasn't home yet.

It was the perfect excuse to leave again, but he found himself waiting for here instead of taking the perfect opportunity.

god-fucking-damn it. ]

[ at least this way, the sound of keys in the door warns him that she's arrived. it's better than the hypothetical reverse, something with her kicking the door in and waking the neighbors with her hysterics, her shouting. it's probably dangerous now, how worked up she gets, now that her belly is round enough to show.

the door opens. she pauses in the entryway to balance a bag of groceries on her hip, flipping on the lights. she looks tired, like she hasn't been sleeping well -- but the second she sees him, her face changes. anger rises over fatigue, and her voice is downright threatening when she demands: ]

What the hell d'you think you're doin' here.

[ He's not going to fight her when she's like this: too much risk. Besides, with her power, it's not very likely that he'd win. She looks ready to kill him, and he doesn't budge from where he stands. ]

Waiting.

[ she doesn't know what it is that pisses her off this time -- the sudden rush of feeling in her chest, pulling her lungs tight, or the shortness of his answer, or the fact that he's there at all.

she does look ready to kill him. maybe on bad days, she's even wanted to, because he hadn't been there. her face is angry, but she doesn't mean it, can't possibly mean it when she stands between him and the door like this: ]

Get out.

No. [ There's no tone of argument in his voice now. Though he should get out -- all his better sense tells him to, and he isn't sure what makes him ignore it. ] You don't want that.

[ tension rises in her shoulders when he calls her out like that -- and maybe that's the only thing that keeps her from escalating to something more aggressive, like physically trying to throw him out. she isn't sure what to do with that truth yet, because she is the kind of woman who never forgets, who always holds a grudge, but he's right. she doesn't want that.

so, instead, almost petulantly, she slams the door shut behind her with a careless, effortless push of her hand, storming past him into the kitchen with her groceries. she sets them down on the counter much harder than she needs to, glaring daggers at him pointedly. ]

Oh yeah? Fuckin' wise guy. What the hell do I want then, huh?

Something I can't give you. [ There is no hesitation in his reply, but rather a hesitation in his posture. While he's saying these things, he's here lingering for no reason. The actions don't match his words. ]

Here. [ He follows her to the kitchen, taking the bag from the counter. ] Sit.

[ her glare follows him as he moves into the kitchen, but for once, she listens, sitting down in one of the dining chairs. she blames it her swollen belly-- invulnerable though she might be, and as physically strong as she is, pregnancy is nothing to scoff at. still, the anger lingers in her face. some days anger comes as naturally to her as breathing, and it's hard to tell which one she needs more. anger protects her.

but anger can't cure the tightness in her chest or the knot in her stomach. she runs her fingers impatiently through her hair. she needs to get it together. she can't be like this, she just can't. and she hears what he's saying, maybe even believes it, that he just can't give her what she wants, but without really knowing why, she still opens her mouth on futile, frustrated words: ]

Stay with me.

[ He unloads her bags slowly. Not putting anything away, since he doesn't know how she organizes it, but also because that's not his intent. He finds a glass in the cabinets, pours her water, and offers it to her.

'Offer' being used lightly -- he expects her to drink it. She went out; she probably hadn't eaten in awhile now.

Then he goes back to the bags, retrieving bread and vegetables. He glances into the fridge, finding deli meat and mustard. He starts throwing a sandwich together, which is about the extent of his abilities with food. ]

For awhile.

[ she takes the glass from him, her eyebrows still furrowed, and her stare still pointed. she isn't really listening to him at first, because she thinks she knows what he's going to say, and she's already regretting her moment of weakness -- ]

Whatever, Frank. Fine. It ain't like --

[ she stops. eyes him a second like she's finally processed his answer and isn't sure she understood right. ]

What'd y'say?

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[This was new. It wasn't as bad as she had always imagined; it was just new. Domestication. Who knew?

Turning over to face Lil, Jane gave her a grin]

So, is it too early to start talking white picket fences? I'm not sure on how this whole thing goes.

[ it turned out lil didn't need to be angry at a man all the time. she didn't need a man at all.

she absently tangles her long legs with jane's under the sheets, watching her from under half-mast eyelashes. ]

Y'into that kinda thing, hon? [ she's a little amused, but not displeased. ] White picket fence, two an' a half kids?

(it's just a fact of life that these things happen; or maybe it's just something that he's used to. either one falls out of love, but this time it's for her own good. he can't look at her, because he knows she'll be able to tell that he doesn't want to do this. if she figures it out, then he'll have to talk and if he has to talk then - it'll be jinxed. next thing he knows, he's hearing about her on the news because the noah killed her (because that's a thing).

he couldn't do that, he loves her too much.)

Just sign the papers, Lil.

Make me, y'goddamn bastard.

[ she won't even stand on the same side of the room as him -- either because her disdain is that great, or because she knows if she gets within arm's reach, violence is inevitable. but every inch of her body language is angry, hurt, betrayed. she paces her side of the room like a lioness, her voice getting hoarse from all her shouting. ]

I told you. I ain't signin' nothin'.

Edited 2013-04-20 05:28 (UTC)

You're going to sign it.

(he hates this, hates it so much. usually, he'd just walk over to her, hold her and tell her it's going to be alright. but, he can't and it's getting hard not to just to forget about the divorce.)

I can't keep doing this.

Fuck you.

[ she's picking up one of his books and chucking it in his general direction from across the room, her voice breaking a little on the curse. she's shaking faintly, she's so angry.

this can't be happening to her again. why does this always happen to her? ]

Why're y'doin' this t'me?

(he can't take it; tears were fastest way to get to him. that's why left anita in the middle of the night, why lenalee convinced him to stay at the order and that's why he's relenting and breaking that distance.)

I can't see hurt because of me.

You're hurtin' me now, y'goddamn coward, fuckin' asshole--

[ it's petulant, the way she puts her hands out, catching him by the shoulders and holding him back from her, physically refusing to let him close enough to comfort her or touch her or anything that might rob her of her anger, because she needs to be angry, or it'll hurt even more. ]

I thought you loved me.

Edited 2013-04-20 06:28 (UTC)

I do.

(his fucked up logic makes him push her arms down, stare right at her and actually show weakness to his wife.

it was so good to say that word wife. or even relish the notion of growing old with someone.)

I can't come home one day and find you dead, I just can't.

So, what, you're gonna do this t'me instead? Y'think this is better?

[ when she loves, she loves so fully. obsessively. it's killing her to go through this again. she didn't think she'd ever get better after madison -- she didn't think she could go on. it crippled her. she can't do it again. she's not that strong -- nobody is.

frustrated, she tries to brush his hands off her. ]

You're breakin' my heart.

You think that a momentary pain is worth more than dying?

(it baffles him. firstly, it's because he's too selfish to actually understand loyalty to someone and secondly, she has no reason to stay with him other than she loves him.)

This isn't easy for me either, but it has to be done.