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It can. You could stay in with me more often.

[ Even though he knows that is (probably) not what Hooded Justice was getting at. Nelson adjusts himself so that they're essentially face to face -- chest to chest, more accurately, except even then it's Nelson's face that's pressed up against Hooded Justice. He breathes slowly, not really put off that they're bickering (sort of) as they awkwardly snuggle on the couch, fighting has always had a strange and equal role in their relationship. ]

What if we worked out a compromise? You don't have to say much, just be... just... don't avoid my questions. Even if it's just "yes" or "no." For example-- [ Nelson turns his head so that his cheek rests against Hooded Justice's shoulder. He lets his hand trail lower, stroking Hooded Justice's abdomen. ] Is this okay?

[ It was a tall order, at the very least. His secrets should be his secrets, and his alone. Conversing meant Nelson was getting closer. It made him cagey, because there was only so long that he could avoid the questions for so long, with Nelson asking for answers. Even 'yes or no' was going to get too close.

But he wasn't thinking about that too much right now. His brain was elsewhere. Nelson had played his cards right, at this moment. ]

Yes. [ He didn't have to shift much, to make things a little more comfortable -- or maybe a little closer. HJ let him stay where they were, breathing leveling out. This was the sort of bickering he could handle. He knew where this could go. ]

You could come out more with me, too.

[ His hand drifted a little lower, thumb making a small trail of strokes while it moved. ]

[ Nelson rubs his hand lower, leaning his head back so that he can kiss around Hooded Justice's neck area -- just brief kisses off affection, since they're both still mostly clothed -- as his other hand begins to stroke Hooded Justice's thigh. ]

What about this? [ Another kiss, this time against Hooded Justice's shoulder, though Nelson pauses and wrinkles his nose slightly. ] You know I can't. I-if I could be out there as much as you are I would be, it's not that I don't want to.

[ The soft note of affirmation was softly killed at the tail end, when Nelson stopped, and his fingers dug in slightly. Nelson might not think he could, but Hooded Justice thought he would adapt, if he had to. He mulled it over, drifting lower still, till he was at the small of his back. ]

One extra night. [ He paused, waiting for protest, but kept going anyway. ] If I stay in more. [ His other hand, supposedly dormant, came to rest on his shoulder, holding him down. ] Once a week.

[ Breathing a little harder, Nelson leans his forehead against Hooded Justice's chest and curls his fingers to grip at the fabric of Hooded Justice's costume. ]

I'll try to, if you do. You can help staying in more than I can help being fa-- ... fatigued...

[ Face a little red, he adjusts himself slightly and leans back, tugging on Hooded Justice's noose to pull him along. ]

But I'll do my best. One extra night isn't so bad.

[ The things Nelson would do for Hooded Justice. He thought it would be good for him, and perhaps help him shed the pounds he'd gained over the years -- for his health of course.

He let Nelson tug him along, not letting him get too far, instead opting to keep his hands where he'd had them, keeping them close. ]

No, it isn't. It'll give you less nights to stay up.

[ A touch pointed. He still didn't see the need to stay up, when he wasn't there, waiting for him, but HJ was the sort that wasn't going to understand. Not easily, anyway. Perhaps he didn't need to, but he did need to learn to accept it. ]

I only stay up when I'm waiting for you. When I say... fatigued I don't mean sleepy.

[ Lying back now, Nelson stares up at Hooded Justice, blinking meekly. He lets go of the rope, stroking his hand over HJ's chest again before he wraps his arms both around Hooded Justice's neck. He leans his head forward, sighing a little and glancing aside. He's getting a little tense, a little nervous, but he goes on: ]

Y-you think I'm just out of shape, but you don't know how hard I try. I don't like being unattractive to you. Even if I'm thankful you haven't left yet because of it.

[ The changes had been the worst part of adjusting. Nelson wasn't the same, and Hooded Justice had a very specific Type. Age had made him fall from that grace, but Hooded Justice didn't exactly stop himself either. It wasn't just that he found this new environment difficult and unsatisfactory to make a connection in, although that's certainly what he told himself.

He wasn't exactly having difficulty with finding interest in Nelson. Even now. He pressed a little closer, hoping that would keep him from having to answer that. This was like presenting a prize, while not saying there was a trap between himself and his destination. He would need to tread carefully, or else he was going to be extremely sorely disappointed.

His noose swayed, brushing against Nelson's chest, and he moved to make sure the would fit. ]

I'm not going to leave because of that. I don't think it's getting in the way of much, is it?

[ He was finding less and less reasons to leave, even though a part of him thrashed just to get out. Now. ]

[ Nelson blinks in both relief and surprise, his shoulders relaxing as he feels a weight -- no pun intended -- has just been lifted from them. He's been afraid until now to even voice these insecurities, because unlike the other ones he has no experience with Hooded Justice's reaction. He'd been paranoid that maybe drawing any attention to it would remind Hooded Justice there were plenty of other younger, thinner, and presumably willing men out there waiting to be discovered.

He smiles a little shyly. ]

No. No. You've really been wonderful about the whole thing. I didn't -- I don't want you feeling disappointed, convenience aside. [ Given his suppositions about Hooded Justice's history with fidelity, it means a lot to Nelson. ] It isn't as if I could do much about it, if you did. So I--

[ He leans upward slightly, kissing where he suspects Hooded Justice's chin is beneath his hood. ]

I'm happy. I'm so happy that you're here.

[ His chin has a bit of give, just enough to indicate that it's not just skin underneath there, but Hooded Justice, despite his need for secrecy, isn't thinking about that right now. He may hold the dominant position in the relationship, but Nelson knew how to wind him up, and get him going in another direction, mind it was only one direction, but once he got going, he didn't necessarily stop.

Even his words, which Hooded Justice heard, weren't really something he could respond to. He wasn't happy to be here. Well, here in the City, it was like a constant reminder of his death, now that he knew. The only place he wasn't so angry, was here.

Which didn't make sense, so he didn't dwell on it. ]

How happy? [ His hood tipped slightly, over Nelson, one hand running along his side, gentler than usual. Even when HJ wasn't violent, normally there was a touch of barely contained roughness. ]

I couldn't do this on my own.

[ It's a blunt and fairly quiet admission, but Nelson doesn't mind making it -- especially not after what else he'd admitted. He breathes slowly, wetting his lips and letting himself lie back and stare up at Hooded Justice contently. Suddenly he felt much better, nearly all the fight he'd had in him minutes earlier vanishing into the air. ]

Very happy. I didn't think we'd ever see each other again, and... well, I'd never be content, with anyone else. It's some kind of miracle that we're together. [ He blinks. ] I want you to be happy, too.

[ Maybe it was a miracle, or maybe it was something else, but even Hooded Justice had to admit that them both being here, alive and relatively well was something that neither of them could have had, back home anymore. Not just because of HUAC, but because he was dead. The fact burned low, a soft reminder that things were different here.

Not just out there, either. Between them, too.

But happy wasn't something he knew how to be. Content, or satisfied, but happy? He'd lived through too much. He'd burned his rope at both ends for too long. ]

Nobody else. [ A statement, more than a question, but there was still the trace of it, laced in his words. ]

I am satisfied, right now. [ It was as close as he could get, maybe. That he would allow himself to get. ]

There isn't anybody else.

[ Just in case it even needs saying. Not that Nelson never looks, but looking is completely different -- it's harmless. He loves Hooded Justice far too much to ever be seriously tempted outside of his periodic fits of discontent.

Maybe "happy" really is too strong of a word, but Nelson isn't sure which would be better. As much as he would prefer to be home, he can only be with Hooded Justice here. "Happy" is the closest word he can think of to encompass how much that means, even if it cuts out all his conflict from the equation. ]

... So am I. Maybe it'll even last this time. For both of us, I mean. I don't think we're doing so bad.

[ And they don't even have Larry. ]

No. We're not. [ Comparatively, at least. To their own experience. They had their troubles, and they always would. Hooded Justice wasn't made for relationships, his history too mired and colored by his past, and yet he still kept close. Oddly enough.

Parts of him he didn't acknowledge operating without stopping, not willing to put an end to it. He didn't want to, actually. Perhaps keep it a certain way, but not stop. He paused, thinking, but even so, he still didn't stop a slow drag of his fingers, still surprisingly slower and gentler than usual. ]

We could be doing worse.

Edited (Repetitive words are my downfall) 2013-07-02 22:00 (UTC)

[ Still smiling faintly, Nelson nods his agreement, leaning against Hooded Justice affectionately as he shifts himself into Hooded Justice's lingering touch. ]

That's nice. [ He says, encouragingly, though after another moment of the gentle stroking he cautiously adds: ] Are you worried about hurting me?

[ He almost snorted out loud. Almost. He didn't necessarily fear much, and especially not with Nelson. He knew both of their limits well enough, although the addition of a "safe word" -- as loathe he was to admit it -- had allowed him to push a little further.

His hood tipped, instead, hand stopping to hold at his hip. ]

No. Why would I be worried?

[ There had been times, of course, that he'd gone too far. He'd worried after, yes, but not before. Never before. HJ too often let impulse dictate his actions. ]

I just thought--

[ Nelson tilts his head upward again, looking at Hooded Justice's hand and biting his lower lip. He strokes Hooded Justice's arm, keeping his tone neutral so that it's clear he's observing, not complaining. It's strange to him, knowing Hooded Justice even can touch this softly. ]

I would ask. You're being more gentle than usual, it's just not really like you.

[ He bristled, slightly. Giving him a look that was part insult, through the two narrow slits that he could see. The only bit of him that he could see. ]

Did you think it would stay like this?

[ Questioning, if a bit bluntly. HJ hadn't thought much of it, but he'd also not gotten to that point, yet. He dug a thumb in, as if to drive home the point. ]