goshdarnspam | IT'S THAT VERY SPECIAL TIME AGAIN.

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IT'S THAT VERY SPECIAL TIME AGAIN.

Time for.......

THE GODDAMN TEST DRIVE MEME

1. COMMENT WITH A JOURNAL OF A CHARACTER YOU'VE THOUGHT OF APPING/WOULD LIKE TO APP AS THOUGH THEY'RE ALREADY IN C&C
2. TAG AROUND WITH NEW JOURNALS OR OLD!
3. APP THEM ALL NOW!
4. IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE LATE SO DON'T YOU EVEN GO THERE
5. LINK THIS POST TO ATP ADS YOU POST LATER
6. THIS TEXT HAS BEEN RECYCLED AT LEAST 25 TIMES
7. HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN

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[ Kirei is still adjusting to the powers granted to him by this City. Despair fills him with heat, energy and power, and he has experienced this before... but never on this magnitude. Never this intense.

It is hard to find another man on the level of suffering as Kariya Matou.

For a moment, Kirei feels dizzied by the response. Luckily Kariya is too horrified to notice the way Kirei's eyes flutter, how his expression is dominated by an almost delirious grin, and how he sways slightly on his feet.

It's incredible.

Once he steadies himself, he reaches out for Kariya, wrapping an arm around the man and drawing him against his chest. ]

Hush, Kariya. You'll hurt yourself.

[ his immediate reaction to being grabbed is fear, but when kirei pulls him closer, he hiccups out a startled little noise, fingers weakly curling in the other man's shirt. he presses his face to the curve of a strong shoulder, shuddering and trying to stifle the pathetic tears. has anyone ever held him like this? has anyone ever cared to?

he doesn't know what to do with this, with being comforted when sakura is with zouken, suffering under his hand. the guilt is going to eat him alive. how can he enjoy this, how can he want this? ]

I'm s-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I--

[ As Kariya buries his face away, Kirei allows himself to smile again. His whole body seems to shudder and hitch against Kirei's chest, stuttering like a stalling vehicle. Kariya shakes like he's breaking down, and Kirei wonders if he could stand if he lets go. ]

You don't have to apologize, Kariya. Not to me.

[ He lifts his hand, stroking his fingers through the shock-white hair, while the other continues to hold him close. ]

[ the way kirei holds him is the way he's seen others hold one another. it's comforting; he feels cared for. he doesn't have to pretend to be okay right now the way he does with other people. kirei doesn't treat him like a burden.

his shaking gradually begins to taper off, tears slowly drying as he holds onto the other man. he doesn't understand any of this. ]

Wh-Why--? [ his voice is still muffled in the other man's shoulder. everything still hurts, but for the moment, it's somehow less important than just being here. ] Why.. would you bother with me?

[ Kirei moves his hand, slipping his fingers under Kariya's chin. He guides the other man away from his shoulder, urging him to look up. His thumb skims across his ruined cheek, wiping away some of the dampness from his skin (tears and blood alike). ]

Do you not think yourself deserving of help?

Is it guilt?

[ the careful touch makes new tears spill, but he's too tired for shame at this point. he doesn't seem to mind the ruin of his face, and it makes some small, broken part of his heart attempt to hope again.

at the question, though, he swallows, gaze sliding away from kirei's. ]

I-- I just-- I'm no use to anyone like this. And I c-can't-- I shouldn't-- [ not while sakura is still with zouken. ]

[ Kirei cannot help a small smile. The expression is mild enough to not give him away, slight enough to not seem cruel in itself. ]

Don't be so sure, Kariya. Do you not want to see Rin again?

[ Kirei does not know if the girl remembers him at all, and either outcome -- being recognized or forgotten -- has equal measure of despair. ]

Of-- Of course I do. [ his hand tightens again in kirei's shirt, comforted despite himself by warmth and familiar strength. the priest has been so good to him, and kariya knows how embarrassed he should be by how he's clinging to him, but when was the last time anyone really even noticed him?

he offers a slightly tremulous smile, then ducks his head to hide the faint, weak flush across his face. ]

I-- Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm just.. a little bit overwhelmed. [ a lot overwhelmed, actually, and still upset and lost. but at least he has someone here. and maybe he'll be able to see rin again. ]

[ Kirei simply nods, his hand resting against Kariya's where he clings to his chest. ]

You shouldn't let her see you like this, of course. You need to recover. [ He takes hold of Kariya's arm again. ] Can you walk?

[ he nods, determined not to be more of a burden than he already is, fingers curling against the arm supporting him. ]

You're right. .. I'm a mess. [ he starts forward again at the other man's side, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible to hide the pain he's in. he doesn't want to worry the other man, especially over something that can't be helped. ] Who won the Grail..?

[ Ah, there was a story. Kirei turns his head to glance at Kariya, steadying him just slightly as they walk. ]

I am not entirely aware. [ Which is only half a lie. ] I should have Rin tell you herself.

[ Because hearing of its destruction from Rin's lips would strike Kariya to the core. ]

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IT'S THAT VERY SPECIAL TIME AGAIN.

oh no now I'M sorry

shrieks no don't be they will be so beautifully hideous

o-oh... "will be"... so is that implying....

s-slowly works on app.....

screams into hands

cries

clings

alskjdf //////

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