IT'S TIME FOR DIPPING STICKS AND...

[erewhile]

TEST DRIVE MEME

Are you thinking about apping to to Cape & Cowl, but you want to get a feel of the setting and how your character will fit in it? Then you’ve come to the right place! Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, and don’t be afraid to throw yourself at anyone’s thread, either!

And remember to have fun!

1. As you exit the Porter Building, the ambient noises you heard, so faint back inside where you found yourself at the center of glowing platform alone – save for the black screen and the female voice who greeted you – erupt in every direction. Every corner you look is bustling with people and cars and bicycles; people going about their everyday life, unaware you’re one of them: an imPort.

2. Or perhaps your bizarre behaviour or appearance catches their attention. Maybe it’s the communicator you picked up before leaving. Either way, several Cityzens headed your way come to a full stop immediately, each one eyeing you differently. Some looks outright afraid, others seem intrigued, and then there are the others whose surprise fades quickly and they carry on past you without as much a second glance.

3. Confused? The Network seems like a good place to start with soliciting information. There appear to be three functions for you to access: AUDIO, VIDEO, and TEXT. Make some friends while you’re at it!

4. Maybe you’re just thrilled to be here and help. The night time is a great time to scope out the underbelly of the City and its criminals. There’s always something going on in its more troubled corners: breaking and entering, drugs or arms trafficking, an attempting kidnapping... the list goes on. The question is: what will you do, Hero?

5. Make up your own scenario, if you wish! You may have discovered the Porter has granted you the ability to make it hail cats. Or that your power of super speed is gone entirely. Maybe you’ve noticed the Statue of Liberty’s sporting a new look. It’s up to you!

Comments

[enigmaestro]

Oh no, true, you'd never be keen on the idea. [A beat... The dramatic build-up you know that's coming --]

Gordon found it suitable, however. Commissioner Gordon, excuse me.

[folieamor]

I got a doctorate too. I also got my own office.

[Also a criminal record and several doctors back home who would say she's nuts but details u know. ]

I can tell you there's an institution here, but someone's already runnin' it.

[enigmaestro]

I see that Eridan Ampora has found you. Disregard everything out of his adolescent mouth, won't you? The logical fallacies would drive you mad, otherwise.

[Oh, Hannibal, you know how men are about their proteges.

Eddie's like the worst about his.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[He quirks an eyebrow at her claims, though he's at least polite enough not to contradict them. Not that he'd be right, of course, he really wouldn't know -- he thinks she's a touch delusional. Not even ALANA BLOOM whom he is super jealous of speaks so colloquially.

Best to humor it.]

I anticipate a downgrade, as it were. I'm simply looking for somewhere to practice, you see, I really specialize in the criminally insane.

[NOT THOSE COMMON MINDS.]

[folieamor]

[She ducks out of sight for a moment, the sound of her laughter undoubtedly audible even as she tries to cover it up. It is not a condescending laugh, but one of unbelievable amusement. One might call it a guffaw.

The criminally insane; kids stuff.

She coughs and regains her composure before she reappears. ]

I worked at Arkham Asylum back home, Doctor. Let me tell you, there ain't no shortage of the criminally insane there.

I'm Harleen. Doctor Harleen Quinzel.

[buttpatting]

[hi franklyn your stalking is super subtle]

Gifts, yes. Or, as they call them here, powers.

[Did it alarm him? Of course it did. But then it turned out to be pretty profitable and good for everyone involved (really it's good for other people, not bad in any way!!!! Hannibal wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was doing the backstroke in his soup!! REALLY) so it wasn't so bad.

But what in the world would Chilton be gifted with? Nothing? Because that would be the cherry on top of the cake and so fitting for him.

Not that Hannibal thinks poorly of him, of course. Chilton is his BFF. Really.]

It took me by surprise, certainly. But it ended up being beneficial to the injured and myself if I have trouble chopping something in the kitchen, [read: it never happens but he'll let people think he's human] so what alarm there was was replaced with relief, in all honesty.

[And glee, but it's not exactly Hannibal's thing to start talking about how happy he is.]

[buttpatting]

[Come for the produce, stay in perpetual horror at the terrible fashion sense that's apparently running rampant in the City.

There is no God in this place, apparently. Other than Hannibal, of course.]

If I were to disregard everything out of his mouth, I'd lose his name, and I would certainly like to remember it in case we cross paths again.

[Being pedantic is kind of rude, sure, but it's better that than being super rude and engaging in gossip. Right? Right. Sure. Totally.]

[amoray]

Yeah, some refuse to be fuckin' dull.

[ is there any appropriate social context for talking about how much you love violence with total strangers? probably not, but eridan does it with everybody. boldly forging new human social territory here, that's him.

but still! that question (he takes it as a question) about his ttly cool alien biology has his eyes lighting up, fins lifting just that millimeter or so higher to indicate... something, some weird alien bullshit. ]

I'm a sea dweller. [ and he finishes off that first bit of fish, going back for another. cold fish isn't exactly... you know, good, but now he feels kind of obligated to keep going. ] Penultimate on the hemospectrum, rulin' caste. See, you got your normal land dwellers - finless sacks a sad sand stompin' off-color shit they are - all dwellin' the land and whatnot, and then you got your sea dwellers. Wiolet bloods for folk like me, fuchsia for Empress caste.

[ this is an incredibly bare-bones explanation because fuck if i'm going to write out the hemospectrum talk all over again. dear god. ]

We're brinesuckers. Gills, fins, float bladders, expandin' and contractin' bladder-based aquatic wascular systems - you get the idea. Raw fish ain't nothin' to my kind.

[buttpatting]

[actual jim kirk troll eridan ampora

and WOW but Hannibal is a people doctor not a sea people doctor but hey he's done enough cooking of the non-talking sea peoples to know what he's talking about. Sure, he's not a fisherman, but how could he not know about the basics of fishy biology? He slices and dices them and

maybe he shouldn't mention that, that might be rude. Maybe there's some weird rule that only sea dwellers can eat their animals, Hannibal has no point of reference for how to deal with this okay. But he follows along, casually untying his bag and slipping a sixth, most worthy tomato inside of it.

don't worry about writing it out i'll just imagine it's like this don't take ll cool j's view of the ocean away from me ok ok]

Ah.

[Yes. Ah. Ahhhh.]

If you have such little inclination to like we normal land dwellers...why did you keep the guise of one? It must be exhausting.

[tell him more about your people suit eridan they need to bond do u want two mentors he and eddie can be ur fathers now nothing can go wrong

at all]

[amoray]

[ YES GOOD ll cool j's view is 10000x more interesting than a dissertation on the hemospectrum for make believe alien teenagers okay don't put me through that again

BUT here eridan shrugs, briefly breaking his weird yellowy-purple fish eye contact to glance at the wall. oh gross there's a fly on that wall never coming back here ever. ]

Some a the natiwes around here ain't too keen on imPorts, if you get what I'm anglin' for here. [ oh yes, nautical terminology. were making it hapen. ] Friend a mine nearly got murdered by one just for bein' one of us. 'Course that was back when shit was really hittin' the circular air rotation dewice, but it's still easier gettin' by if you got human skin to spare.

[ that came out 100000x creepier than he intended it to. whatever, nailed it. he glances back (also that fly is now on the avocados wow no) and shrugs. ]

It's a right goddamn embarrassment when a fuckin' dignitary has to be creepin' about disguisin' himself so he don't get shot, but hell. Gotta adapt.

[ MURDER FAMBLY: CAPE & COWL EDITION no his fins are too big for eddie to cough up it'd never work ]

[buttpatting]

[Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou are with me. Thy Rod and Thy Staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, because I carry a big stick, and I'm the meanest motherfucker in the Valley. Two sharks down, Lord, one demon fish to go. Can I get an Amen! how could that not be more interesting than anything in any canon ever even super serious hannibal canon can't quite live up to blowing up a shark in a kitchen underwater after being friends with a potty-mouthed parrot it's simply impossible to beat

anyway wow marine tangent my bad]

I was aware that "imPorts" were not taken to very kindly, yes. I was not aware that they were taken to so unkindly as to incite murderous rage. [casually ignoring that merpeople aliens or whatthefuckever are a bit different than regular joes (not like hannibal is a regular joe BUT OKAY HUMANS in make if not in mind) because okay if they can pass as one why are people killing them????? and what do they look like inside he needs to see one day

could he serve troll meat as fish this is the question it burns him deep inside where all his demons lie all radioactive and shit] It's a shame you have to hide what you really are. I'm hoping it's gotten better, since you're comfortable showing yourself as you really are in a public place?

[well if abel and hannibal can be murder mean girls why can't he have a murder fambly of riddles and reels on the side?? and no he can cut those fins into little pieces fit for questionable consumption OHOHOHOHO]

[amoray]

[ oh my god my lack of headphones so i can listen to ll cool j in privacy has never been more pronounced nor so bitter

also that is basically a synopsis for eridan's summer break tbh ]

You know they poisoned us a while back? Public benefit, hit us all with some kinda imPort targetin' gas. [ shrug! he spent that whole time period in a blind murderous rage, which is like his default setting, so it actually wasn't all that bad. ] Wulcanus and such. People 'round here might not be burnin' you at the stake, but they sure ain't friendly. A brinesucker's gotta watch out for himself.

[ and then the second part!! another easy shrug, as if he's totally unfettered by all this LOWLY HUMAN BULLSHIT. really, he's just flashy and stupid enough to drop his disguise whenever he thinks it'll be cool and won't immediately ruin his life. but what hannibal said also works. ]

An' you can't be lettin' fear keep you from doin' what you're gonna do, in my own personal opinion. [ he should really stop here...... ] I mean, fuck, considerin' my powers, and how goddamn sturdy us trolls are anyhow, nobody's gonna be doin' fuckin' diddly to me in the first place if they ain't got powers of their own. And ewen then, I'll probably already know of 'em before they ewen try.

Seniority and ewerythin'.

[ wow okay secretly wanting to hack him open and look at his guts and threatening to cut his fins off?? congrats hannibal you are literally reenacting portions of eridan and eddie's relationship rn this murder fambly would be the most horrifying and pretentious thing ever and it would be amazing ]

[buttpatting]

[thank god for youtubeonrepeat making listening to the same thing over and over super easy and possible the ocean is HAUNTED]

Poisoning?

[Good God, that's rude. Hannibal wouldn't poison a Happy Meal, who do these people think they are? Seriously, it's not imPort's faults they're here. It's not like they're invading or anything.

All this oppression is gonna push Hannibaby over the edge

he's already there, he's at a chain grocer's.]

No, I hadn't heard of that. [what is wulcanus is that a real word is eridan speaking mermish at him look dumbledore may know mermish but he was also like 150 and hannibal hasn't gotten old enough to believably know every goddamn language on earth in sky and under sea but one day!!!] Nor would I count on seniority being the key to making sure your stay here is safe. I would compare it to how one doesn't always see the shark fin before the teeth bite, but I would imagine marine-based comparisons have long since run their course with you.

[this eddie guy sounds like a real catch, eridan. e&e&h the newest aquarium slash psychiatric office slash restaurant in town it would be more than amazing]

[amoray]

[ WOW AN ACTUAL LAUGH. well, it's more like a little heh but still, you know how hard it is to make eridan ampora laugh? he's the only hs character to never smile in canon.

not once.

but yes a+ good job hannibaby you did the thing. ]

Yeah, suppose so. [ marine-based comparisons are nowhere near as grating as fish puns, honestly. he runs a hand through his perfectly (obnoxiously, obsessively) sculpted hair, making sure it frames his horns just the way he wants it to. aww yeah. ] Still, I'm just sayin'. You kick around these parts for three years, you end up figurin' shit out about people. Keep in good with the capes, keep outta Gotham affairs, don't go traipsin' into dark alleys unless you know what powers they got.

You clewer the fuck up if you wanna float by around here.

[ a beat. as if suddenly thinking of something: ]

You got any clue what kinda powers you got? Ewerybody gets somethin'.

[ e&e&h, double the pretentious and triple the sociopathy of original flavor murder fambly. ]

[buttpatting]

[Aw, that's sweet. He feels honored. Really, just, overwhelmed with emotion, that's Hannibal Lecter. There's this great bubbling in his belly that's warm (and somewhat salty???) because aw he made him laugh good feels all over

Only really not but hey, he'll give him a little smile for his trouble. Look at this face, Eridan. You wanna float by with this face? No that wasn't a question you actually want this face to like you or something so stop swearing

oh nevermind, it's not happening. He'll have a shrimp on the barbie day soon okay]

It's good to hear this from another imPort, because then it seems more reliable. [As if anything merhipster says could be reliable oh wait that's too judgmental but 10000000000 rings WHY] As for—is that considered a polite question, asking about powers? I'm not sure about the decorum of it, since...I had to find out myself. It seems a bit personal.

[it's like lime shrimp maruchan ramen flavor as opposed to that silly beef so yes let's it's perfect]

[amoray]

I dunno. People just sorta ask around here, newer saw nothin' wrong with it.

[ "i learned most of what constitutes for human manners from a batman supervillain." ]

Is it somethin' embarrassin'?

[ back to non-smiling goodness aw yeah. and also glancing with interest at his eyebrowless company here, as if hannibal is totally likely to tell him if it is. ]

[folieamor]

Ah geez, I don't wanna put olives in my salad. I was hopin' to substitute them with extra feta.

[Hannibal please, don't do this to her. She lets out a disappointed sigh, as though this suggested combination has ruined her whole day. Perhaps it has. Perhaps it hasn't. She places it into her basket anyway.]

I'll risk it.

[She eyes the tomatoes next. ] Oh - uh, thanks. For the advice. I'm Harley.

[folieamor]

[Indignantly!!!] I'm legally sane, you know.

[batmanbungledeverything]

Save it for someone who gives a hoot.

[Because he certainly doesn't.]

[batmanbungledeverything]

[Ugh... For some reason he is only somewhat surprised by this, but he can't let that show.]

Yeah, well the Commish' has always had a weird taste in buddies.

[batmanbungledeverything]

Oh yeah? Well for your information, Montoya is my partner. Unless I missed a memo somewhere along the line.

[batmanbungledeverything]

Yeah, you still ain't making this future sound much more appealin'.

[buttpatting]

[does eddie even count as a supervillain don't supervillains have to have powers does eddie even have powers what is super about him if he doesn't have powers

eridan has he been calling himself super around that's a problem he's totally not super he's just a syndrome, just shitwipe in ugly clothes who can't stop asking questions there's nothing super there he's been lying to you

daddy 2 has so much work to do i stg]

No. Nothing embarrassing.

[S I G H like dealing with Franklyn level sigh right here, this is getting super uncomfy but oh well. Being a dick (a bigger dick) to some guy who's apparently boss of the ocean seems like a bad idea.

But he can't help himself too much, okay. He holds his hand up palm facing downwards, 100% exasperated. Just on the inside where everything else, like laughter.]

Give me your hand, and I'll show you.

[it'll only hurt for a second new precious son]

[folieamor]

I worked really hard to get here, you know. Geez, all you cops are real rude.

[sweeping generalizations are her specialty. ]

[batmanbungledeverything]

Not my job to be polite, it's my job to keep you loonies in check.

[What do you know, it's his specialty too.]