(no subject)

[terra]

Relationship Meme

It goes like this:
ø Post a comment
ø Reply to other people's comments
ø They'll respond with some sentences about the relationship
ø Alex eats ice cream

Comments

[deadthenred]

Okay, well. Bucky doesn't like Rikki very much. Which isn't to say he wishes active harm on her, or anything, but, a whole lot of what she's said just upsets him.

Like, when she was talking about how she got rejected from college and didn't know what to do with her life so she fell into this. People complaining about not being able to go to college smacks of snobbery, to him, because college is something rich people get and no one else. He had to drop out of school at age thirteen so he could pay for his food and clothes, and he'd hate to use that as a way to make himself pitied.

The overarching problem is this: Bucky isn't a superhero. He doesn't get superheroes. He'd never decide to dress up in a costume to go fight crime, that's crazy. He trained, enlisted, and trained some more before being assigned a post and an outfit, but that's a real different thing. And at first he thought, gee, well this is gonna be swell, and for a while, it was. He knows he liked his job maybe a bit more than he should have, but it was always a finite thing. Finite, as in: it'll be over when the war is, not it'll be over when you die. And it was awful, was that war, and they may have made it look pretty, but goddamn he did want it over. He had no real intention of keeping on after, of dressing up and punching crooks and calling himself something fancy like those loonies in New York. All that horror, it was so they could put an end to that horror. Why anyone'd go drudging up war things in peacetime, well. He doesn't understand. It's all cruel.

And what his job did was a real number on him. I mean, Bucky's half-convinced himself he's a sociopath. He's pretty certain he had to give up some part of his soul, because he has trouble fitting into the peace. He's not sure what to do with himself without a war, without an army, And then, there's the whole dying, being a human weapon for real, losing limbs, etc. He goes through all that, his reward is getting to be a cautionary tale. Oh goody. He wouldn't wish that on anyone.

He doesn't want a legacy. He did all the stuff he did so that no one else would have to, so that no one else'd need to be Bucky. And he gave up a lot for that. A lot of people gave up a lot. So, for someone to try and ignore all that, really gets under his skin.

Plus he's jealous and overprotective of Steve. Steve was his best friend, the idea of him getting a new partner, dressing them up like him, like, makes him personally useless and sad. But that's secondary.