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goshdarnspam2009-12-25 01:10 am
goddamnrobin.livejournal.com) wrote in goshdarnspam2009-12-25 01:10 am
C&C Holiday Gift Exchange -- CONCLUSION
Hello everyone!
THIS IS THE CONCLUSION OF THE HOLIDAY GIFT EXCHANGE.
It's Christmas and this means all the Holiday Gift Exchange participants will have to give their gifts away soon. Soon being relative because the exchange date is still the 6th, no worry! I just wanted this up for Christmas because of the atmosphere and all :)
How this is going to work:
1) Every participant has to answer that entry with their personal journal.
2) Before or on January 6th, find your giftee's comment and answer with your own personal journal, giving them their gift. You can do that in advance if you wish to.
After the 6th, I will look at who didn't get a gift and start harassing their gifters. You are being warned. And I will be mean this time around.
Happy Holidays to everyone!
THIS IS THE CONCLUSION OF THE HOLIDAY GIFT EXCHANGE.
It's Christmas and this means all the Holiday Gift Exchange participants will have to give their gifts away soon. Soon being relative because the exchange date is still the 6th, no worry! I just wanted this up for Christmas because of the atmosphere and all :)
How this is going to work:
1) Every participant has to answer that entry with their personal journal.
2) Before or on January 6th, find your giftee's comment and answer with your own personal journal, giving them their gift. You can do that in advance if you wish to.
After the 6th, I will look at who didn't get a gift and start harassing their gifters. You are being warned. And I will be mean this time around.
Happy Holidays to everyone!
Part 2/2
“Girl, what part of ‘he’s a zombie’ don’t you understand? Look at him! He’s shufflin’ around, muttering and stinking up the place!”
“He’s always like this,” Mary pointed out.
“That fuckin’ smell could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon at fifty paces!”
“You get used to it,” Mary added in a small voice.
“Sweetheart,” Bullseye said in what was only a slightly malicious tone, “I think you know what you have to do.”
“Give him a bath?”
“No. You gotta take him out back and give him the Old Yeller.” Hawkeye held his index and middle fingers together in the approximation of a gun, and pointed them to his temple.
“Wait.” Mary Marvel frowned. “I have to give him to a farm upstate?”
“…What?”
“Billy said that’s how Old Yeller ended.”
“Mary,” Carnage explained, “what we’re askin’ you to do is take his putrid ass out back and SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD.”
“I’ll let you borrow my shotgun.”
“Oh my goodness, no!” Mary shrieked. “I couldn’t do that! Rorschach is my friend!”
“Sweetheart, if you ain’t doing it, I’m gonna. He’s going to make the property value go down.”
“You live in a trailer park!”
“Well, look at you, Miss High and Mighty. This is a New York City fuckin’ trailer park. I could buy a condo in Iowa if I sold this thing with enough left over for at least two boozy prostitutes. And he is getting slime all over our Astroturf!”
“What sort of life do you have where this is a good idea?!” Mary asked, clinging to Rorschach, who mumbled something.
“The sort of life where this fuckin’ invalid makes me miss my goddamn Matlock!”
“We’re also gonna be married in about ten years,” said Bullseye, scratching at his crotch.
“…Oh.”
“You want to know the sad part? That’s going to be the best thing about our lives.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, fer chrissake, look at him!” Carnage said, gesturing at Rorschach. “He’s saying ‘brains.’”
“No, he’s not! He’s saying ‘beans!’ Those are his…” Mary sniffled. “Those are his favorite food.”
“Girly,” Carnage continued, “I am losing my fuckin’ patience here. At this point, you’re gonna have to drop him off a high rise and let me watch him splatter to make it up to me.”
“I don’t want to!” Mary bawled.
“Mary, look at it this way. He’ll come back. You just gotta put him out of his misery.”
“He’s not miserable,” Mary tearfully protested. “And anyways, it’s a sin to murder!”
“Okay.” Bullseye said, holding up his hands. “Okay. Mary, I know this is going to be hard for you. So, how about this? I will take him upstate, and set him loose somewhere in the wild. He’ll decompose, and then come back to life. How’s that?”
“You’d do that for me?” Mary sniffled.
“Of course. Come on, let’s load him into the back of the pickup truck.”
And so they did load Rorschach into the bed of the pickup truck, and Bullseye drove over the George Washington Bridge and up into the Catskills. When the scenery had completely transitioned from concrete and glass to snowy meadows and trees, he even rolled the window down so he could take a breath of the fresh, cold air. Finally, he pulled the truck into an isolated meadow and let Rorschach shamble out of the bed. The zombie looked around, knife still embedded in his skull, and began to make his way out into the placid wilderness.
And then Bullseye shot him in the fucking head.
Re: Part 2/2
“…What?”
“Billy said that’s how Old Yeller ended."
ahahahahahahhahaaha classic.
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AHAAHA
AHA
SFADMFOMAFSD
this was great A+ would lol irl again
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P.S. Mary Marvel will always be my favorite counterpoint to villains.
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P.S. It is one of the large reasons I play her. <3
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