Dear Abby...

[guardiandevil]

the advice column meme



✍ Post as your characters.
✍ Go around to other characters asking for advice of any kind.  This can be done logged in or anon.
✍ Respond to these pleas for help ICly.
✍ Shenanigans!
✍  ???
✍  Profit!
✍ Bonus points for actually playing out what you're advised to do!

Comments

[ebony-mask.livejournal.com]

Dear O.D.,

Revenge is a dish best served cold, although in the heat of the moment, it can seem more satisfying to jump in without careful planning. But trust me: the best revenge is the revenge that reaches the core and causes the most suffering. I would recommend the systematic destruction of everything they value, followed by a variety of physical and mental torture to their persons. After they've been reduced to slobbering, senseless pieces of flesh, you do what you'd do with any toys you've finished playing with: you stomp them to pieces so no one else can enjoy them. Just make sure the pieces you stomp are too broken to be fixed.

Your resident torture and revenge expert,
Black Mask

[(Anonymous)]

dear mask

do you havve some sorta newwsletter on this particular topic i could subscribe to? i think wwe see these sorts a things similarly.

gratefully
o.d.

[ebony-mask.livejournal.com]

Dear O.D.,

Currently, I do not, as doing so would be a major leak of trade secrets to potentially the wrong people. However, those in my employ and/or inner circle are frequently subject to educational lectures on the topic. Luckily, you show a healthy interest in all that you shouldn't, and I have a soft spot for students (I have personally trained people in the fine art of torture), I think we could work something out.

Your Potential Pen Pal,
Black Mask

[(Anonymous)]

dear mask

i wwould be incredibly fuckin interested in such a arrangement. wwe should discuss the details ovver coffee sometime.

agreeably
e.a.

[ebony-mask.livejournal.com]

Dear Eridan,

My schedule is wide open :)

Your new friend,
Roman