goshdarnspam | (no subject)

i like to rhyme all the time

Zatanna is literally Ned's favorite person in the City. Which is you know, alarming considering she's a magician and an actual sorceress. She also has a talent for making him super uncomfortable (oops). But she always helps him out when he's in a jam, and she never really judges him which is really important to Nedward. She is one of the only people he's ever implicitly trusted and he is so grateful to her for making the Pie Hole possible here in the City. Without her magic, time, money and disproportionate appetite, none of it would be here and that moves him a great deal.

He also sees how maternal she is with April and Larsa and however many kids have come and gone. Hell even Buffy. He knows she takes care of her own, and that's more he can say for his family. It makes him protective over Zee, as he was his own mother. Not because he considers her in that role, but because she means it to others. It's a projection mommy issue thing, I think.

She has a way of making him come out of his shell that reminds him of Chuck. Again, not because he considers her in a romantic way WHATSOEVER (barf) but because she's so adventurous and spontaneous and fun-seeking. Ned does like fun, though it makes him nervous. Zatanna makes him nervous, so it fits.

Ned trusts her opinion above any one else's and knows she knows what's the haps. He won't hesitate to ask her about something if his paranoia is tingling and I'm sure there are many handwaved conversations about conspiracies!!!!

It's also nice to just have a friend. Someone who doesn't rely on him for anything specific or have any expectations for him. Chuck is his girlfriend, Olive is his waitress, and Emerson is his employer. So even his friends back home sometimes don't feel as solid as the friendship he has with Zee. He cares a great deal about her wellbeing and would pretty much do anything for her, which is something Ned would not willingly do for many people. Though he is working on this whole hero thing.

In summation, he's pretty sure just being around Zatanna makes him a better person by association, and that warms the cockles of his tiny grinch heart.

Jack and Calvin!

Ned has no idea what to make of Calvin. Mostly because he never had a normal childhood himself, so children baffle him. Especially when they act like, well, children. This is the social ineptness that led Ned to banning Calvin which he now deeply regrets. But that should be rectified by the end of our log.

He's also slightly jealous of children, if that makes sense. His whole world ended at nine and he had to take care of himself. He was alone in a world that had no place for him and he's jealous of those who seem to be so comfortable in it. Calvin doesn't even need parents he is pretty self-sufficient for a little guy (as far as Ned knows) and he's just well and truly baffled. Even though it hurts Ned still wants to understand what it is that motivates him, however. He's fascinating and unpredictable in ways Ned hasn't often encountered.

In summation, Ned looks forward to seeing Calvin as a regular at the Pie Hole again soon, and while I think their relationship will be tense for a good long while, he'll know in his heart he's delivering a service he used to deliver to the boys from the Longborough School for Boys. (The boarding school Ned attended.) I think in an attempt to make good he will give Calvin a “tab” like he does for Han, Jack and Zatanna. To be paid, or not.

You've heard a lot of stuff about Jack and Ned before heh so I will try to tell you stuff I haven't said in previous memes. But my memory is shoddy so who knows what you will get. Russian Roulette time.

While Jack was locked up, Ned was distressed, especially at first. But because they've been so long apart I think he's forgot how much he used to rely on Jack. For work yes, but also emotionally. While he feels he can go to Zatanna for a lot, Jack fills the holes. And because they work so closely with death together, he feels more comfortable discussing things of a morbid nature with Jack. And Jack understands loss as well as he does which is really palpable for him, and is what first drew him to Jack and made him trust Jack. He doesn't shy away from those difficult topics as Ned himself tries to, and Jack helps him feel as though he has a place within this world.

Furthermore, he knows he can call on Jack in a crisis. If something really fucked up were to happen (like oh, I don't know being framed for murder and being locked up unjustly) Jack would be the first person he'd call. And you know, will be. Like Emerson, Ned's detective buddy in canon, he's prone to confessions and outbursts around Jack. It's a few parts trust and maybe one part nervousness. Jack intimidates him. Jack is a goddamned hero and part of Ned wants so badly to prove himself to him.

He also knows that Jack is as lonely as he is, surrounded as they both are by people at any given time. That's almost refreshing in a weird way, and also reminds him of his awkward friend Randy Mann from canon. Jack seems like he fits in with the cool crowd though so he's like a step above Randy and Ned in that respect. But Jack and Ned are also opposites in a lot of ways, and he enjoys those intellectual differences rather than feeling vexed by them. Okay so sometimes he's also vexed by them.

LAST OF ALL Ned does know that while Jack doesn't want him to get hurt, he will get him hurt for the greater good and that is a big progression as far as he's concerned from when Jack just thought he was an innocuous and completely helpless pie maker. Which he still sort of is.

ALSO PLEASE DISREGARD HOW RAGINGLY GAY THIS ALL SOUNDED THANKSBYE

i really hope that's a canon nickname

it is

Harmony called him that. And probably still would if they ever saw each other. But Harmony is a reality celeb like OMAROSA used to be and Spike just has shitty movies made about him. So they could never be.

BUT NO ONTO THE REAL STUFF

Zatanna has pretty much all the qualities of the three women he has ever loved?!?! She practices magic and can be ruthless, like Dru. She can also be inane and light, like Buffy, but clearly has a darker component to her as well. And then there's Cecily, the woman that he loved while he was human, but who was actually a vengeance demon by the name Hallifrak. He wrote mountains of poetry for her, and she was the only one who was kind to him in life other than his own mother.

What I'm trying to say here is that it is not just any one thing that enamors Spike to Zee. And while his feelings are genuine, they are also a little rash. Which is how it always happens for him. Wake up one day in love with a new person. W H O O P S

They like the same music, they like doing the same things IT'S THE PERFECT MIDDLE SCHOOL ROMANCE DAMMIT. She even loves poetry. He does not know what to do with his life. And unlike anyone else who has ever loved him, she's actually nice to him. Which kind of skeeves him out. But he also likes it u////////u

Which is where the self-hatred comes in I guess. Like it ever left. He feels like he's bothering her. Which is really stupid considering she calls him out on avoiding her only constantly. But not only is she in a long-term relationship, but he can tell she's attracted to him and that only makes it worse. He really doesn't have it in him to be a homewrecker right now.

Not because he cares about James' feelings, and as far as he's concerned, James doesn't deserve her. The main problem is that Spike doesn't believe he IS good enough to steal the title from him. However, with this canon update things may change between them a little? We shall see. After losing and regaining his soul not to mention the whole crazy bug ship thing, Spike is back to his previous glory and will probably start to find more confidence again around this place.

Which can really only mean hideous things between these two, especially since Buffy will be here soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Basically, he doesn't understand AT ALL why Zee wants him near her. And with the whole Beck thing back home he's just like fuq why me.

Why.

Me.

found you! john please.

Spike doesn't know John very well yet obviously, though hopefully that changes soon. The time he stumbled to John's place drunk he wasn't in a good way, and the good doctor took care of him. Pretty much no one ever gives a shit about Spike so when it comes to this sort of thing he has very low standards. And yes, he too is drawn towards fellow Brits.

Also, John, the only addiction Spike has is sadness and self-hatred okok. He's basically the opposite of Sherlock. But yes, he's not used to being around people who are so helpful without being self-serving. As sad as this is, Spike is probably the most selfless in his canon right now so he feels a kinship to John in a way. You don't have to be a big visible hero guy to make a difference, and Sike prefers to do his work in the shadows anyway.

They should definitely talk about their mommy issues sometime because they both have them miles and miles deep. FURTHERMORE yes taking the piss means he likes you John. Try not to read so much into it ♥

BAM because you asked so nicely

Jane keeps him on track. He likes women who do this for him, even if it's not a ~sexy~ kind of likes. Necessarily. Uhm.

Basically she saw in him someone responsible and trustworthy enough to house sit for her, and that meant a lot more than it should have. And though he literally touched everything in said house, it was all immaculate when she came home. He's such a fucking weirdo. People who trust him like that get a gold star, because no one ever trusts him and it makes him feel bad about himself.

So mostly his new "friendship" or whatever it is as it stands, proves to himself that he can move forward. That he can be different. That he can move on from his past and just be a good guy like he'd always wanted to be.

Besides, he gets to use her cable for free.

While Dexter doesn't believe he can form attachments to humans that aren't children within his care or his own sister, Danger does fascinate him. She's an android with emotional capacity higher than his own. He isn't sure whether to be impressed or pick her apart to find out how the hell that's even possible. She throws him for a loop and makes him feel like a fish out of water when it comes to lying to these people. He already doesn't try as hard because of all the superhero shit flying around (sometimes literally), but that she is a robot with feelings and that he is technically a human without.

Well, it deserves further research, to be sure.

CLEARLY THEY SHOULD TALK AGAIN :U

YES OFC !!!!!

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that person with the hair

deadly nedly

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pretty much only use this icon for zee t b h

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CALVIN

JACK

blondiebear

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do you like how i made you post to this then took FOREVER yeah me too

dexter the dearly demented

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lily rhymes with silly