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goshdarnspam2009-06-13 11:50 pm
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'sup.
CnC. I want to write horrible fic. You can help me. How? It's easy!
1. GIVE ME TWO CHARACTERS AND A DISNEY MOVIE. ANY CHARACTERS, ANY DISNEY MOVIE.
2. I write horrible, horrible fic. THE LESS I KNOW ABOUT THE CHARACTERS, THE MORE HORRIBLE THE FIC GETS.
3. ?????
4. Profit!
Ritsuka from Loveless / Johan from Monster; The Black Cauldron
It was clear to Johan that this so-called Black Cauldron would be incredibly useful. If he understood correctly, it brought the dead back to life as skeleton monsters and it was unstoppable. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. With a team of skeleton warriors, he would be the last one standing. He would. How hard could it be to kill a skeleton? Surely he could do it.
But first he had to find the cauldron. His intel told him that a certain pig had the answers he needed - so he sent off the henchmen that would soon become skeletons to find this pig. They found it - it and some scrawy boy with cat ears on his head. Johan scoffed.
"Kill the boy. I have no use -"
"Wait," the boy said breathlessly, "wait. I can help you - she won't show you anything unless you know the procedure."
Johan hadn't considered that. He would let the boy live for a little longer. The boy started doing some sort of ritual. Johan watched the bowl of wine in front of the pig intently. There were images swirling inside. Images that told him of the Black Cauldron's whereabouts. Excellent.
Johnny from House of Leaves / Johan Monster; The Lion King
The Elephant Graveyard was not a happy place. It's probably why Johnny lurked there, the place was dark and depressing just like his SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL. Derp.
No one ever visited Johnny, which wasn't actually a bad thing because duuuuuuuuuuuuude no one likes creepy and dark caves. It is a fact of life that everyone ever should be aware of. Caves are bad. Caves are scary. Caves should be avoided forever and ever and ever. Are we clear? Good.
Johan doesn't understand life, okay? He likes caves. The way Johnny likes his cave. Yes. Anyways, Johan was coming into Johnny's cave of dark and depressing. And Johnny was unhappy about this because there should be no people in his cave. It was HIS cave. His cave of SOLITUDE. Johnny regarded Johan with a glare of glariness.
"What are you doing here?"
"Just passing through."
They regarded each other coolly like ice. Johnny was trying to glare at Johan to make him go away and Johan just sat there smirking. Clearly, this was not a good situation and this person was not going to take a hint. He was not going to go away. Johnny wished he hadn't licked that last banana slug, because he could really use one right about now. Drugs were always good for shitty situations.
John shifted and stared at Johnny. And they totally sat like that for five hours in a staring contest until Johnny blinked and Johan won.
EDIT: I'm too tired to try and be horrible. However, continue to request. I write faster when I'm not falling over and I will write these tomorrow.
1. GIVE ME TWO CHARACTERS AND A DISNEY MOVIE. ANY CHARACTERS, ANY DISNEY MOVIE.
2. I write horrible, horrible fic. THE LESS I KNOW ABOUT THE CHARACTERS, THE MORE HORRIBLE THE FIC GETS.
3. ?????
4. Profit!
Ritsuka from Loveless / Johan from Monster; The Black Cauldron
It was clear to Johan that this so-called Black Cauldron would be incredibly useful. If he understood correctly, it brought the dead back to life as skeleton monsters and it was unstoppable. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. With a team of skeleton warriors, he would be the last one standing. He would. How hard could it be to kill a skeleton? Surely he could do it.
But first he had to find the cauldron. His intel told him that a certain pig had the answers he needed - so he sent off the henchmen that would soon become skeletons to find this pig. They found it - it and some scrawy boy with cat ears on his head. Johan scoffed.
"Kill the boy. I have no use -"
"Wait," the boy said breathlessly, "wait. I can help you - she won't show you anything unless you know the procedure."
Johan hadn't considered that. He would let the boy live for a little longer. The boy started doing some sort of ritual. Johan watched the bowl of wine in front of the pig intently. There were images swirling inside. Images that told him of the Black Cauldron's whereabouts. Excellent.
Johnny from House of Leaves / Johan Monster; The Lion King
The Elephant Graveyard was not a happy place. It's probably why Johnny lurked there, the place was dark and depressing just like his SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL. Derp.
No one ever visited Johnny, which wasn't actually a bad thing because duuuuuuuuuuuuude no one likes creepy and dark caves. It is a fact of life that everyone ever should be aware of. Caves are bad. Caves are scary. Caves should be avoided forever and ever and ever. Are we clear? Good.
Johan doesn't understand life, okay? He likes caves. The way Johnny likes his cave. Yes. Anyways, Johan was coming into Johnny's cave of dark and depressing. And Johnny was unhappy about this because there should be no people in his cave. It was HIS cave. His cave of SOLITUDE. Johnny regarded Johan with a glare of glariness.
"What are you doing here?"
"Just passing through."
They regarded each other coolly like ice. Johnny was trying to glare at Johan to make him go away and Johan just sat there smirking. Clearly, this was not a good situation and this person was not going to take a hint. He was not going to go away. Johnny wished he hadn't licked that last banana slug, because he could really use one right about now. Drugs were always good for shitty situations.
John shifted and stared at Johnny. And they totally sat like that for five hours in a staring contest until Johnny blinked and Johan won.
EDIT: I'm too tired to try and be horrible. However, continue to request. I write faster when I'm not falling over and I will write these tomorrow.
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both yuugis aladdin
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&hearts
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* I don't think this is as bad as fic from the Pit. :|
Atem pulled the coarse, brown fabric of the cloak closer to himself and looked around cautiously. It was exciting, in a way, to be outside the palace walls. There were so many people and things he had never seen before . . . He had read about the ouside world, but to see it was a lot different than reading about it.
He was just about to buy something - a loaf of bread - when a young boy ran past. At least, Atem thought it was a boy. It could very well have been a girl under all that dirt.
Anyway, the person ran past and Atem turned to watch as ten or so royal guards chased after. He followed, mostly curious at what was going to happen. The person zig-zagged through the marketplace, but the guards were easy to follow. Finally, the person was corned in an alleyway.
The guards advanced and drew their swords. They were about to harm the poor person when Atem called out.
"Stop."
One of the guards turned around, "And who are you to give us orders?"
"Prince Atem of Agrabah," Atem said smoothly as he left the cloak fall away.
The guards all scrambled to pay proper respects. Atem sighed and walked toward the person he had just saved.
"You. What is your name?"
"Y-yuugi, your majesty."
Yuugi. A curious name. Well, whatever.
"And what were the guards chasing you for?"
A guard piped up, "He stole a apple, your majesty."
Atem looked at the guard, "Did I ask you?"
The guards shrank back sufficiently, and Atem turned back to Yuugi.
"What were the guards chasing you for?"
"I picked an apple up off the gound. I was hungry, your majesty."
"I see. Are you still hungry?"
"Yes, your majesty."
"Then let's go have something to eat."
So Yuugi and Atem went to go eat bread and live happily ever after. The End.
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... 101 DALMATIONS
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GISELLE
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
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BATSELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE. ♥
...what is that icon
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riful
the little mermaid
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"I'm eleven years old, I can take care of myself!"
Ruka slammed the door in Edgeworth's face as she screamed at him. He was always treating her like such a baby, but she could take care of herself! She was always fine on her own, she didn't need anyone to parent her. Ruka sulked. Grown-ups were so troublesome.
----
"Oh yes! She'd be a perfect candidate, don't you think?"
There was no one around for Riful to actually be talking to, but she appeared to be talking to a little green blob that looked suspiciously like a question mark and a little black blob that looked suspiciously like a Rorschach test.
The bobbed up and down, which probably indicated agreement.
----
Edgeworth had warned her about Ritful - everyone had warned her about Riful - but she was standing in front of the cave anyways. She'd give anything to be able to walk on the beach and lie in the sun without worrying about drying out. Riful had what she needed.
Ruka steeled herself and walked into the cave, but tentacle wrapped around her waist and drew her in just as she had entered. Ruka screamed.
"Now, now. There's no reason to scream."
"W-who are you?"
"Riful! Hasn't you father warned you about me, hm?"
"Y-yes, but. But I want legs and you're the only one who can give me them!"
"Well, my dear . . . I can do it, but for a price."
"What price?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just your tongue."
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SOUNDWAVE
THE LION KING
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Soundwave sighed. Starscream was on one of his rants about how eventually, he would rule over all of Cybertron.
"Once my father, Megatron dies, I will have all of Cybertron to myself and the people will obey me as they have never obeyed my father because I, clearly, am far more awesome than him. I will be a much greater ruler than he ever was - I can just feel it in my circuits!
"ERROR: YOU ARE NOT YET KING."
Starscream fixed Soundwave with a ominous (but cute) glare, "Kings don't need advice from lowly science officers."
"REQUESTING: DATA TO BACK UP THIS CLAIM."
Starscream rolled his eyes and turned to Blackarachnia. She was waxing her chassis, but she looked up for a second.
"You're not king yet, Starscream. But you know I'll be right behind you when you do become king."
Starscream smiled slightly at that, "See? I'll replace you with Blackarachnia! It's that simple."
Soundwave shook his head. Hadn't Starscream realised that all his plans failed yet?
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comment chain start
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AND DONE~
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Chain again~
DONE
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DUCK
THE BLACK CAULDRON
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...lol other people watched that movie?
omg I'm not alone anymore
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Godzilla had begun to raise a terrible army of skeleton warriors, which frightened Duck immensely. She was so envious of Miss Ivy and Fakir - they were so brave and she . . . She just wasn't. But even though the mystical, glowing pot frightened her, the thought of losing Miss Ivy and Fakir frightened her even more.
So Duck decided to be brave for once in her life. She decided to take a a chance. Duck turned to face Fakir and Miss Ivy.
"Goodbye Fakir. I'm sorry that I'm so clumsy. Goodbye Miss Ivy. I'm sorry if I've ever been a bother."
Duck smiled sadly and waved goodbye to the both of them before turning to face the pot again. She could hear Miss Ivy and Fakir behind her, yelling at her and telling her not to do it . . . But she had made up her mind.
Duck jumped and fell into the pot. Immediately, she was engulfed by the fumes. But at least she had done something useful for once.
* THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PICK SAD MOVIES, RYUU. :| She comes back to life, though.
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/brick'd
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The Little Mermaid.
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Optimus awoke to sunlight on his eyes and the sounds of Dinobots chattering. He smiled as he stretched - he had just woken from the most wonderful dream about a beautiful robot with blue eyes and strong servos . . . And Optimus feared he was going to forget what he had just seen, so he stood at the window and held a servo to his mouth.
"Dinobots, transform and roll out!"
Within minutes, there were a plethora of Dinobots in his living room helping him to construct a model of the beautiful man from his dreams. He had almost finished when there was a terrible rumbling in the ground. A large eye appeared in his window and Optimus gasped. It was Megatron, the horrible troll of the East!
"Pretty autobot for lunch. Megatron hungry!"
"Dinobots, help me chase Megatron away. I can't let him eat me!"
The Dinobots happily helped Optimus fight off Megatron, but they were too weak. Megatron picked up Optimus and carred him off. Optimus struggled, but he could not get free.
Suddenly, there was a rallying cry from somewhere nearby. Optimus gasped again - it was the beautiful robot from his dream in vehicle mode! The robot defeated Megatron and caught Optimus just as he was about to crash into the ground.
Optimus was lovestruck. The robot, apparently, was lovestruck too.
"What is your name, autobot?"
"I am Optimus Prime. What's your name?"
"Sentinel Prime. I think I love you."
"I think I love you too."
"Then let's get married in the morning!"
"Okay."
So Optimus got the Dinobots to help him make a wedding dress and the next morning he travelled to the castle in order to be wed to Sentinel. A strange woman stopped him befre he could get there though.
"I don't have time, sorry. I'm about to be married!"
"Married? That's wonderful! There is a fountain here that grants wishes to those that are about to be maried."
"Really?"
"Yes, come this way."
The woman led him to a well. it was a beatiful well, filled with clean and clear water. Optimus closed his eyes and wished that he would have a happy marriage. The lady pushed him into the well.
* I will. Write you more when I am less likely to think Optimus is a she.
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ADRIAN VEIDT
MOVIE: ROBIN HOOD
this makes me a bad person
pinocchioCINDERELLAno subject
idfkit's2AM.
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Yes times infinite.
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You know you want to :|
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High School Musical.
*shot forever*
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by the way this is all Zero's fault. all of it. forever
BONUS POINTS IF IT'S HENRY CROSSDRESSING
YOU CAN FILL IN THE OTHER CHARACTERS WITH ANYONE IN CnC YOU WANT
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AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAWAWAWAWWWWWWWWW
And Pretzels and I even decided Henry would be Mulan earlier! I detect win!
this is also your fault
what have I done.
what haven't you done
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Re: by the way this is all Zero's fault. all of it. forever
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Re: by the way this is all Zero's fault. all of it. forever
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RORSCHACH
SLEEPING BEAUTY.
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The dragon had been easy work. It had only taken fifteen minutes - which would have been shorter if the dragon hadn't insisted on breathing fire so much. Now the only thing that remained was to find the princess.
Rorschach searched the castle methodically until he reached the top of the tower, where the princess was lying on a very fancy and frilly bed. Personally, Rorschach thought the whole situation was rather inane and pointless.
"Hrm. Sleeping Beauty."
Without really considering the consequences and only wanting to get out of the damned castle, Rorschach leaned down to kiss the princess. Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped.
"O-oh my. Who are you?"
"Rorschach."
"I see. Have you come to save me?"
"Yes."
"Thank you! I've been sleeping for -"
Rorschach didn't wait for her to finish, he just turned around and walked out of the room. If the girl was smart, she would follow.
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Emperor's New Groove.