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goshdarnspam2009-06-13 11:50 pm
yayashton.livejournal.com) wrote in goshdarnspam2009-06-13 11:50 pm
'sup.
CnC. I want to write horrible fic. You can help me. How? It's easy!
1. GIVE ME TWO CHARACTERS AND A DISNEY MOVIE. ANY CHARACTERS, ANY DISNEY MOVIE.
2. I write horrible, horrible fic. THE LESS I KNOW ABOUT THE CHARACTERS, THE MORE HORRIBLE THE FIC GETS.
3. ?????
4. Profit!
Ritsuka from Loveless / Johan from Monster; The Black Cauldron
It was clear to Johan that this so-called Black Cauldron would be incredibly useful. If he understood correctly, it brought the dead back to life as skeleton monsters and it was unstoppable. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. With a team of skeleton warriors, he would be the last one standing. He would. How hard could it be to kill a skeleton? Surely he could do it.
But first he had to find the cauldron. His intel told him that a certain pig had the answers he needed - so he sent off the henchmen that would soon become skeletons to find this pig. They found it - it and some scrawy boy with cat ears on his head. Johan scoffed.
"Kill the boy. I have no use -"
"Wait," the boy said breathlessly, "wait. I can help you - she won't show you anything unless you know the procedure."
Johan hadn't considered that. He would let the boy live for a little longer. The boy started doing some sort of ritual. Johan watched the bowl of wine in front of the pig intently. There were images swirling inside. Images that told him of the Black Cauldron's whereabouts. Excellent.
Johnny from House of Leaves / Johan Monster; The Lion King
The Elephant Graveyard was not a happy place. It's probably why Johnny lurked there, the place was dark and depressing just like his SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL. Derp.
No one ever visited Johnny, which wasn't actually a bad thing because duuuuuuuuuuuuude no one likes creepy and dark caves. It is a fact of life that everyone ever should be aware of. Caves are bad. Caves are scary. Caves should be avoided forever and ever and ever. Are we clear? Good.
Johan doesn't understand life, okay? He likes caves. The way Johnny likes his cave. Yes. Anyways, Johan was coming into Johnny's cave of dark and depressing. And Johnny was unhappy about this because there should be no people in his cave. It was HIS cave. His cave of SOLITUDE. Johnny regarded Johan with a glare of glariness.
"What are you doing here?"
"Just passing through."
They regarded each other coolly like ice. Johnny was trying to glare at Johan to make him go away and Johan just sat there smirking. Clearly, this was not a good situation and this person was not going to take a hint. He was not going to go away. Johnny wished he hadn't licked that last banana slug, because he could really use one right about now. Drugs were always good for shitty situations.
John shifted and stared at Johnny. And they totally sat like that for five hours in a staring contest until Johnny blinked and Johan won.
EDIT: I'm too tired to try and be horrible. However, continue to request. I write faster when I'm not falling over and I will write these tomorrow.
1. GIVE ME TWO CHARACTERS AND A DISNEY MOVIE. ANY CHARACTERS, ANY DISNEY MOVIE.
2. I write horrible, horrible fic. THE LESS I KNOW ABOUT THE CHARACTERS, THE MORE HORRIBLE THE FIC GETS.
3. ?????
4. Profit!
Ritsuka from Loveless / Johan from Monster; The Black Cauldron
It was clear to Johan that this so-called Black Cauldron would be incredibly useful. If he understood correctly, it brought the dead back to life as skeleton monsters and it was unstoppable. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. With a team of skeleton warriors, he would be the last one standing. He would. How hard could it be to kill a skeleton? Surely he could do it.
But first he had to find the cauldron. His intel told him that a certain pig had the answers he needed - so he sent off the henchmen that would soon become skeletons to find this pig. They found it - it and some scrawy boy with cat ears on his head. Johan scoffed.
"Kill the boy. I have no use -"
"Wait," the boy said breathlessly, "wait. I can help you - she won't show you anything unless you know the procedure."
Johan hadn't considered that. He would let the boy live for a little longer. The boy started doing some sort of ritual. Johan watched the bowl of wine in front of the pig intently. There were images swirling inside. Images that told him of the Black Cauldron's whereabouts. Excellent.
Johnny from House of Leaves / Johan Monster; The Lion King
The Elephant Graveyard was not a happy place. It's probably why Johnny lurked there, the place was dark and depressing just like his SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL. Derp.
No one ever visited Johnny, which wasn't actually a bad thing because duuuuuuuuuuuuude no one likes creepy and dark caves. It is a fact of life that everyone ever should be aware of. Caves are bad. Caves are scary. Caves should be avoided forever and ever and ever. Are we clear? Good.
Johan doesn't understand life, okay? He likes caves. The way Johnny likes his cave. Yes. Anyways, Johan was coming into Johnny's cave of dark and depressing. And Johnny was unhappy about this because there should be no people in his cave. It was HIS cave. His cave of SOLITUDE. Johnny regarded Johan with a glare of glariness.
"What are you doing here?"
"Just passing through."
They regarded each other coolly like ice. Johnny was trying to glare at Johan to make him go away and Johan just sat there smirking. Clearly, this was not a good situation and this person was not going to take a hint. He was not going to go away. Johnny wished he hadn't licked that last banana slug, because he could really use one right about now. Drugs were always good for shitty situations.
John shifted and stared at Johnny. And they totally sat like that for five hours in a staring contest until Johnny blinked and Johan won.
EDIT: I'm too tired to try and be horrible. However, continue to request. I write faster when I'm not falling over and I will write these tomorrow.
what have I done.
those are some absolutely hideous casting choices there
I APPROVE WHOLEHEARTEDLY
what haven't you done
I KNEW YOU WOULD
hmm who else