Who is even here?

[battothefuture]

So I figured that it's Christmas Eve Night, and what better way to celebrate then with a festive meme that's vaguely theme-related?



the KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS meme

Your character is now the star of a romance novel.

Post with your characters.

Other people choose their costars. This can be anon if you prefer.

Post against these people.

All prose must be as purple as it is possible to be.

All settings are a sultry jungle or a castle 300 years ago etc etc etc. Bonus points for holiday theme.

Everything is as hideous as possible

When in doubt make it purpler

Think of the face-sucking/wedding/etc memes only 9000% more purple. Romance novel, people. Think romance novel. Her ebony locks and gently shimmering eyes the exact color of the Mediterranean sea on a cloudless summer's day sparkled, etc.

Comments

[doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com]

It's Christmas day here. Hohoho. omgsobored

[latrodectus]

Hmmm.

[doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com]

Hmm?

[latrodectus]

I'm trying to come up with a terrible romance plot point to start up with.

Then I can use this icon.

[doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com]

/has like, never read anything romance. so is clueless. omg.

[latrodectus]

okay I googled the internet for a generator:

This story takes place in Bejing. In it, a murderer looking for love meets a cunning hero. What starts as obligation quickly becomes a passionate affair.

You can be the murderer looking for love, James. Replace love with sex.

[doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com]

Not even rich aristocrats could hide within the bustling streets of Beijing forever and James had made quick work of his latest target, killing for money, just like he'd always done, then retreating deep within the throngs of Chinamen. He integrated easily as one of the many tourists, thick muscles barely contained within his tight, black t-shirt and rippling with every solid step he took. With his physique, he could take on anyone, but it would be the simple charms of a woman that would bring him to his knees with barely a touch.

She stood out from the crowd, hair like an untamed fire, swept into style by the hands of an artist and features carved by an angel. His cold heart stopped dead at the sight of her and, unintentionally, his steps stopped dead in turn, forcing others to move around his perfect frame.

[crabulous]

The lobster man stood tall as he approached the front door, broad orange claws clenched with determination. Moisture glistened from his pores, dewy jewels of perspiration that trickled down his jowls and dripped haphazardly onto the cream colored fabric of his lab coat. He couldn't quash the rush of butterflies in his belly, the thrill of this encounter shook him to his core.

Hesitantly, with both undeniable fear and optimistic expectation, he knocked on James Bond's door.

[doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com]

The knock fills the snow covered cottage like a crack of thunder, ricocheting across the walls and disturbing the peace of the little Christmas card scene and drawing James' attention from his solitary reading by the roaring, open fire. The book- a fancy little piece of a romance by the sea- gets deposited carefully upon the arm of a comfortable chair, while James rises to his feet, tugging his bathrobe around his glistening, bare chest as he moves to the door.

It's with slight surprise that he opens it, eyes, blue like the ocean, enveloping the lobster before him.

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

The brisk breath of air touched his face like a forlorn lover as Edward sat back in the velvet cradle of his horse-drawn carriage, the melodic clip clops of silver-studded hooves echoed his soft sighs.

James was on the street.

[doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com]

Not even the pounding of hooves could drown out the pounding of his heart as dazzling, sea-blue eyes followed the approach of the carriage with a sense of urgency and longing. He knew the path the horseman would take, avoiding the cobbled streets so as not to jar the dainty and fragile parcel within, and James had been determined to get there before his love would be lost forever. James would rather throw his perfectly built, muscular, tanned physique in front the horses and risk death than once again let his lover escape him.

"Edward!" His voice booms over the startled horses like the crashing tides against the rocks, ebbing away silently after their sudden approach.

[enigmaestro.livejournal.com]

His heart was strung like the last note of a viola's solo. James's voice burned into his body, singing to every molecule of flesh under his emerald hued clothing. The moment his eyes captured the sight of that masculine specimen so eager to lunge before the clopping hooves of horses, Edward knew his fate had been sealed. He couldn't leave James, he couldn't let a sigh pass without the touch of that man's warm, gun-slick hand.

"James, I -- " A broken syllable served preamble to silence. The horses, startled by James' masculinity, threw themselves unto their hind legs, over turning the carriage with brisk force.