goshdarnspam | Who is even here?

So I figured that it's Christmas Eve Night, and what better way to celebrate then with a festive meme that's vaguely theme-related?

the KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS meme

Your character is now the star of a romance novel.

Post with your characters.

Other people choose their costars. This can be anon if you prefer.

Post against these people.

All prose must be as purple as it is possible to be.

All settings are a sultry jungle or a castle 300 years ago etc etc etc. Bonus points for holiday theme.

Everything is as hideous as possible

When in doubt make it purpler

Think of the face-sucking/wedding/etc memes only 9000% more purple. Romance novel, people. Think romance novel. Her ebony locks and gently shimmering eyes the exact color of the Mediterranean sea on a cloudless summer's day sparkled, etc.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Do you?" Parker's breathy tone seeped out from between his lips, his youthful flush deepened a hue. His fingers crawled up Strange's spine, kneading and touching with such a hunger, a starving need. His leg rubbed against Strange's own, looping and ensnaring the other man's flesh.

"I'll have to return the favor." Brown eyes flashed a deeper shade of red, over a smile of too-jagged teeth. The growl sounding from Parker's still-human chest sounded bestial.

Who is even here?

We will have to cope..... together..... /dramatic