beep beep get out of the way

[gobias]

TEST DRIVE MEME

1. COMMENT WITH A JOURNAL OF A CHARACTER YOU'VE THOUGHT OF APPING AS THOUGH THEY'RE ALREADY IN CNC
2. TAG AROUND WITH NEW JOURNALS OR OLD!
3. APP THEM ALL NOW!
4. NOBODY IS EVER LATE EVER GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE

Comments

[scienceho]

"This system" is an entirely vague term that will receive an equally vague answer.

There are one of several systems present in the human body - e.g., the endocrine system, the digestive system - and even moreso in the mutant body. We currently inhabit an ecosystem set within myriad ecosystems spanning the entire globe, which spins systemically around on its axis and systemically around an average-sized star in what is termed in grade school as a solar system. Not to mention Chessie System Railroad Company, the cars which drive by with the "boomin' system" and the intolerable Armenian rock and roll outfit named System of a Down, entirely unrelated to The System that Keeps Us Down, Man.

[alphanumeric]

[Very badly.]

If you're not going to be of use to me, then get out of my way.

[scienceho]

If you're going to cast aside any hyperintelligent brainiacs just because you don't understand the concept of specificity, I'd wager my Franklin Mint-created dollars against your digitally-created donuts that no one will ever be of any use to you.

[alphanumeric]

Did you hear what I just said?

move

[scienceho]

I have indeed heard what you said, but I refuse to acquiesce to the age-old dynamic of superior intellects being cowed and subjugated by disagreeable assholes with brute strength and pituitary abnormalities to throw around as if might actually, in any world, galaxy or universe, ever made right.

He has a bit of a temper. I apologize. T.T

[alphanumeric]

[Matrix's fists clench so tightly, he begins to tremble. The (\/) of his artificial eye self-activates, spinning around to reveal his honing function. His fingers want to reach for Gun. So badly.]

[...then again, a punch would be equally satisfying, so he lifts up one fist and throws it at the annoying stranger.]

That's all right. Doc is a complete jerk.

[scienceho]

[Dr. Nemesis saw such a reaction coming from the first unveiled threat, and thus, he drops low to duck under the swing, while producing a device from his jacket pocket, which instantly creates a magnetic field between them that will rebuff any further throwing of fists.]

That will be quite enough of THAT, Cyber Punk. If I'm to assume you mean the typical science-fiction definition of the query 'what system is this,' you're on a planet called Earth, which orbits a star called Sol in a system that, rather egomaniacally, is named The Solar System, in a galaxy with the unforgivably pedestrian name of The Milky Way. Although I suppose that's better than "Beta 4" or "Alpha 9."

[alphanumeric]

[Matrix was strong, but not fast enough; his swing caught nothing but air, and within a moment, he was being held back by some sort of magnetic field. Realizing that this was getting him nowhere fast, he hung back and resorted to gruntung a few replies back through his teeth.]

Earth? Sol? Well, which one is it, Virus?

[...because, in his mind, no Sprite could ever be this annoying. Or desperate to be deleted.]

[scienceho]

Excuse me, Leisure Suit Larry? Are you claiming I'm a microbiological infectious agent seeking to give you the sniffles? No, of course, Thy Dungeonman, you think I'm a form of sentient malware out to reformat your hastily constructed central processor, or rearrange your polygons.

[alphanumeric]

[This actually makes him take a step back, one eyebrow raised. The anger was slowly fading, surprisingly enough, as bewilderment gradually took over.]

What are you even talking about?

[scienceho]

SCIENCE IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

Unless you somehow think my name is Uncle Virus and I'm about to hum a few bars of "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, autoimmune deficienc-ay," calling me a 'virus' invokes science! SCIENCE, NINTENDO MAN.

What the hell are you and how were you spawned?

[alphanumeric]

I'm a Sprite. A Renegade.

You can call me Matrix.


[Folds his arms and just chooses to ignore the rest of the babbling because seriously, what the FAQ?!]

I'm sorry, but he really is a pompous superior jerkface. ;)

[scienceho]

...

YOUR NAME IS ACTUALLY 'MATRIX?'

The Wachowski Brothers must be destroyed! I swear, I am going to enter their disgustingly overrated little fake world, I am going to hunt down Keanu Reeves, shoot him with a crossbow loaded with arrows coded specifically to his heroin-addled DNA and I will FORCE FEED HIM THAT BLUE PILL so we can procure a cinematic messiah that's WORTH A DAMN WITHOUT A TEMPORALLY-CHARGED TELEPHONE BOOTH!

I would accept ETHAN HAWKE as a messiah before Keanu Reeves - and THAT IS ONE HELL OF AN INSULT TOWARDS MR. DOGSTAR!

Don't be. I'm laughing SO HARD right now~

[alphanumeric]

Yes. You got a problem with--

[And then the good doctor starts his rambling again. Both eyebrows go up, and Matrix actually takes a step back. Not because he was scared. He just didn't want to get any of that BASIC on him.]

I have no idea what you said. Are you sure you're not malfunctioning or something?

Hooray!

[scienceho]

I'm not the one willingly referring to himself as a pixie and/or carbonated beverage consisting of the unholy combination of lemon and lime.

What, pray tell, are you "renegading" against, Mr. Roboto?

[alphanumeric]

Virus scum.

[scienceho]

You're suggesting anthropomorphic malware has established a kingdom in your "system" and rules it with an iron fist.

And by "system," you probably mean a Commodore 64.

[alphanumeric]

Commodore 64? Is that where we are now?

[scienceho]

Mother of motherboards, it's like I'm TALKING to a Commodore 64. Give me a C-prompt! A bouncy C-prompt!

I will now commence throwing out the names of various A.I.'s in popular culture! Stop me when a "system" sounds familiar and we can progress from there!


THE LAWNMOWER MAN.
C-3P0.
WOPR.
VIRTUAL UNREALITY.
HAL 9000.
SKYNET.
R2-D2.
R5-D4.
LIEUTENANT COMMANDER DATA.
DR. EVIL'S FEMBOTS.
ROBBIE THE ROBOT.
KRYTEN.
FRITZ LANG'S MACHINE-MAN.
HALEY JOEL GODDAMNED OSMENT.
IG-88.
OPTIMUS PRIME.
CY-KILL.
ROBOCOP.
DOT MATRIX.

I AM ALREADY TIRED OF DOING THIS.

[alphanumeric]

[That last name makes him stand up, eyes wide]

Dot? You know my sister?

[scienceho]

.

You are claiming to be RELATED TO JOAN RIVERS FROM "SPACEBALLS?!"

You are spawned from SPACEBALLS FAN FICTION?!

MY KINGDOM FOR A HAMMER THE SIZE OF THIS ENTIRE WORLD, SO THAT I MIGHT SMASH IT TO HELL.

[alphanumeric]

[twitch]


Who's Joan Rivers?

I'm talking about my sister, Dot. Dot Matrix.

[scienceho]

DOT MATRIX IS A STAR WARS SPOOF AND A DISGUSTINGLY OUTDATED KIND OF PRINTER.

If your sister is named after a PRINTER, I look forward to meeting your mother Xerox and your father HP ALL-IN-ONE SERIES 5600.

And since you obviously need every bit of clarification possible. that was sarcasm and I never want to meet your parents or your sister.

[alphanumeric]

[Oh, snap. You did not just insult his sister.]

Gun. Command Line. Target.

[The (\/) on his golden eye twirls and spins around until it's glowing a menacing red. Gun detaches itself from his hip, floating into the air to align the proper shot.]

...take it back. Now.

[scienceho]

"Take it back?"

Are you suggesting I unsay something I've said, which is impossible without the proper chronospheric accoutrements?

[Casually, an invisible personal force-field is activated with a flick of his thumb.]

"Take it back?" Honestly? Why am I surprised that I've been trapped swirling downward toilet-style in a conversation that peaks at about a fourth-grade level of discourse?

"Take it back." If I call your mother a fax machine with loose morals, I can then simply say four magic words and the prior insult vanishes in your mind? Or do I just type "undo" in the vapid, blinking C prompt that appears to be your mind?